11 Sep 2019

BEHIND THE SCENE MUSE

source: pixabay.com

Some writings effortlessly occupied special places in my heart and “Muse” is one of them.

To tell you the truth, the whole story was inspired by a close friend’s story. I made the storyline a bit altered from the actual one since I didn’t want people to be able to guess who that famous writer is (and I bet you'll be surprised if I reveal his identity. Hoho). But the plot of “being loved by your idol but couldn’t accept his feeling since you know there’s someone who deserves him better” is authentic. I recognized my friend’s feeling and came up with the idea of serving it as fictional writing. She agreed and even said that she would deliver the story to the “Ikra” in real life. Guess what? The person behind the persona had read the story :)


While writing it, I put a lot of thoughts about both of the lead characters--Ikra and Kyra. Because I have never been a famous writer or someone who is being loved by someone I idolized, I have to work hard imagining myself being both of them. What helped me to write Ikra is the fact that me myself is a writer. I know what makes a writer happy or be interested in someone. And what helped me to bring Kyra’s emotions to the table is k-pop fans' dedication (yes you can laugh at me. LoL)—the passionate fans who pray and take a lot of efforts for their idol’s happiness. I ever randomly watched a clip where an idol singer unconsciously fell asleep while playing games in a variety show. His schedule was packed to the point of he rarely slept (and he said he just following a schedule he barely knows beforehand given by his manager every day like a robot. Of course, it's painful to see someone you cherish living his dream which also ironically led him to live in such an improper way). My heart felt warm reading many comments that, instead of the typical-fans’-words encouraging the idol to appear in as much as events he could attend to, so they can see the idol frequently, they said: “please take care of yourself”. And I found these nice words:

"I want him to be in a variety show where he could have enough sleep."

Why this fans insisted that instead of resting, the idol better stayed inside the frame? Because she wanted her idol to getting the job and money but still managed to live properly. Imagine, wishing happiness so sincerely for someone who hardly knows us exist in this world (even more than wishing it for ourselves). I know it’s quite difficult to understand this kind of feeling especially when you've never been into something/someone avidly. It doesn’t make sense, right? Being happy or sad as if our idols share the emotions with us, sounds absurd, right? But believe me, that kind of feeling does exist. May I say the feeling that inspired me to write about Kyra a.k.a fans’ feeling is one of the uwu-est feelings in the world. (Yes I’m cheesy. Okay.) (in case you don't know what "uwu" means, it is basically a feeling you get of too much cuteness or an overwhelming feeling of happiness, urbandictionary said)

And pardon me for the usage of some english words in the story (I tried to minimalize english words already but still). It basically displayed how messy my mind is. LoL. I need to keep the original emotions I wanted to deliver by this writing so I kept the words in the language as what popped up in my mind if I couldn't exactly express them in bahasa.

Trivia facts about writing Muse:

1. I shed tears while writing every single part of Muse.

2. Around the time I was writing Muse, B.I., iKON's leader, had to leave the group. My best friend who is a big fan of iKON with her worried and sorrowful heart couldn't accept that decision but still hoped him to live well. I also got inspired to write bout Kyra's feeling by seeing that kind of situation.

3. The ending of Part 3 was inspired by a song, “Fiction” (orchestra version) by Beast.

4. The wedding scene, where Kyra and Ikra’s eyes met, happened in real life. And my friend said: “I thought I was okay until our pair of eyes met,”. (cry a river)

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