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Hello, this is me!

Nur Imroatun Sholihat

Your friend in learning IT audit Digital transformation advocate a-pat-on-your-shoulder storyteller

About me

Hello

I'mNur Imroatun Sholihat

IT Auditor and Storyteller

So I heard you are curious about IT and/or auditing. I'm your go-to buddy in this exciting journey. My typical professional life consists of performing (and studying!) IT audit and managing the award-winning magazine, Auditoria. Armed with a Master of Commerce in Digital Transformation from UNSW Sydney, I'm currently wearing multiple hats—ambassador at IIA Indonesia's Young Leader Community, mentor at ISACA Global, Head of Public Relations at MoF-Cybersecurity Community, and trainer at IIA Indonesia. You'll also find me sharing insights on my YouTube channel, speaking at seminars, and crafting content on LinkedIn. Let's connect and dive into the world of IT and auditing together!

Blog

Sebelum Hujan

Tiba masanya periode sebelum hujan berdamai dengan getirnya tidak diinginkan. Bumi seakan tabah menyaksikan langkah tergesa-gesa sebelum hujan. Udara bersikap tenang saja mendengar keluh kesah yang berlalu lalang. Langit bersabar disesaki gumpalan pesan di pikiran manusia menjelang rinai. Kata-kata menggantung di awan hanyalah payung, secangkir teh, rumah, dan tentu saja rindu. Sementara dalam diriku bukan kaki, melainkan batin, yang tergesa-gesa. Di langit bergelayut pesan pencarian yang hampir putus asa.

 

Orang-orang hanya peduli pada hujan dan rumah--menyudutkan sebelum hujan pada sepi yang kumengerti. Aku, seperti sebelum hujan, mengenali betul rasanya tidak diinginkan. Jiwa ini, sama seperti sebelum hujan, memahami riuh yang mengabaikan kami. Maka kami duduk bersisihan menikmati hening yang dikurung agar tidak gaduh mengaduh.

 

Meski demikian, sebelum hujan dan aku tak yakin apakah kami baik-baik saja dipeluk sunyi. 

 

Pada aroma hujan yang bersiap mendekap bumi aku bertanya, seperti inikah perasaan rindu1? Aku telah melewati puluhan ribu hari sibuk mempertanyakan datangnya perjumpaan yang memporandakan raga dalam duga. Jika belum akan dipertemukan, mengapa aku harus memikul perasaan semacam itu? Jika takdir persuaan masih jauh dari harap, tidak bolehkah nanti saja kutanggung beban rasa sebesar ini? 

 

Maka sebelum hujan aku berdoa agar seseorang melintas begitu saja. Saat hujan nanti, aku ingin mengenali wajah yang bersembunyi atas nama rindu. Namun, sejauh mana pun aku bertanya, dia tak kunjung menjelma di hadapku. Hujan telah mempertemukan bumi dan langit sore ini. Sejauh apa dia saat ini untuk bertemu denganku? Apakah ia tidak berdiri di bawah hujan yang sama denganku? 


Kenyataan bahwa aku tidak mengetahui apa-apa tentang perkara ini sungguh mengoyak batin.

 

Aku pulang bersama senyap yang telah nyenyak tertidur di tas punggung. Lengang adalah satu-satunya yang tersisa membersamaiku. Jika aku berkawan baik dengan sunyi, lalu berapa lama lagi topeng bahagia ini bisa kuperankan dengan baik?

 

Sejujurnya, telah sejak lama aku tak ingin menyeberangi hujan seorang diri.

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1 Terinspirasi dari puisi Hujan Bulan Juni karya Sapardi Djoko Damono bahwa hujan begitu tabah merahasiakan rindunya kepada bumi.

"Tak ada yang lebih tabah dari hujan bulan juni

dirahasiakan rintik rindunya kepada pohon berbunga itu"

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image source: Muhammad Rifki Adiyanto via Pexels

LIRIH

source: pixabay

Aku senang mendengar suara-suara lirih yang nyaris tidak terdengar di perpustakaan. Di antara bunyi-bunyi itu, aku bisa memisahkan alunan jemarimu membalik halaman buku. Aku bisa mengenali ayun matamu yang berdansa dengan aksara. Aku bisa mendengar tulang-tulang rusukmu terangkat ketika menghela udara. Di tengah riuh rendah itu, aku bisa membedakan suaramu ketika kau berbisik menceritakan sesuatu kepada kawan-kawan. Aku juga tak luput menyadari gelak tawa yang dirahasiakan agar petugas perpustakaan tidak menoleh ke arah kalian.

 

Aku jua mampu mengidentifikasi nada jarimu melangkah di atas papan ketik. Begitulah kau, membaca buku seolah waktu bisa dihentikan lalu menulis selama dua kali lipatnya. Aku berhasrat mengintip puisi yang tengah kau pijarkan melalui sepuluh jari-jarimu. Jadi sajak apa yang tengah berdenyut bersama jantungmu kini?

 

Irama lirihmu dalam melakukan segala sesuatu di perpustakaan begitu lain. Di tengah kegaduhan yang hampir terdengar hening itu, aku menemukanmu dengan mudahnya. Sementara udara yang dingin tak mampu meredam deru senyummu. Sementara wangi buku seolah memasung sepasang lingkaran matamu dalam dunia yang lain. Sementara larik-larik puisimu tampak tak ingin berbagi pujangganya dengan siapa pun.

 

Akankah kau datang tepat waktu ke perpustakaan hari ini? Apakah kau masih akan duduk di tempat yang sama seperti biasa? Akankah teman-temanmu akan menyusulmu tigapuluh menit kemudian seperti yang sudah-sudah? Akankah matamu bergerak dengan kelambatan yang sama ketika menelusuri satu per satu kalimat? Apakah jemarimu masih akan sesekali mengambil jeda di atas papan ketik ketika kau tengah berburu kata? Akankah kau melepas kacamata dan mengusap mata dengan cara yang sama?

 

Aku menemukanmu di sela-sela narasi yang kaukumpulkan. Aku menyelami bersama keingintahuan tentang sajakmu selanjutnya. Sementara sepuluh huruf namamu adalah puisi yang paling ingin aku lantunkan. Kau adalah buku yang ingin aku baca berkali-kali tanpa penghujung. Seperti kau menulis untuk orang lain, aku juga ingin menulis untukmu. Maka bolehkah aku meminjam sedikit senyummu untuk kuselipkan di antara kata-kata yang tengah tersedu itu?


Lalu mengutip Helvy Tiana Rosa, "Bolehkah sekedar kupinjam punggungmu untuk menulis puisi-puisi yang tak henti menangis?"

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(latar: saya rindu menulis cerita fiksi)

 

EXPECTATION


It's been a while, hasn't it?

I found myself amidst an intense introspection--contemplating life and expectations. Navigating the labyrinth of human relationships has recently brought me face-to-face with poignant experiences--each a miniature heartbreak from those I hold dear. At this juncture, the weight of expectations and disappointments seems putting dark clouds above me. 

I've always believed in giving my utmost to those around me, investing my heart into every interaction, every relationship, and every connection. I know I have so many shortcomings but I have always tried my best. I put in great effort to be there for others, to support them, and to show them love. It's the way I've always lived my life, and I don't regret it for a second. 

Yet, along the way, in some settings, I can't help but discern a lack of reciprocity.

There have been moments when I couldn't help but wonder if I was receiving the same treatment I gave. Often, I was being left behind questioning if the consideration I extended was returned in kind. It's a bitter pill to swallow, which made me ponder whether I even deserve the care I long for. Again and again, it made me feel that I didn't deserve kind treatment in the first place. (T_T). 

Disappointments have become frequent in this chapter of my life. They often trace back to my expectations of people. I've learned that expecting too much can lead to heartache. Expectations, like delicate glass ornaments on the tree of relationships, are placed with care, hoping they'll enhance the beauty of the bonds I share. Yet, I've noticed that most of the time, I'm the one caring more and putting in more effort. Facing this, I couldn't help but feel down and, at times, even resentful.

Actually, throughout my journey, there have been times when I felt strong and resilient. I've faced life's challenges head-on, and I've overcome many of them. But there have also been those tiny, fragile moments when I yearned for a little extra kindness, understanding, or love and what happened made me think that sometimes I should even beg for people to treat me decently.

Truth is, there were tiny, tiny times when I hoped that I would be treated better.

The reality is that even the strongest among us are only human. We all have vulnerable moments.  Truly, I am just an ordinary human. My heart breaks, and I yearn for genuine treatment. 

To whoever reading this, if I may say something to you: please, please, I beg you, treat people kindly. 

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P.S.: While I recognized the aforementioned heart-breaking moments, it didn't necessarily mean that I failed to notice the kindness people did to me. I truly appreciate the people who treat others carefully and kindly. And I am happy to say that most of the people around me are thoughtful and kind people.

(I've learned to gradually diminish my expectations of people and shift them more towards Allah. I feel so much better.)

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image credit: Mat Reding via pexel.com

#bicaraaudit: The Beginning


There is a conversation that remains etched in my mind, forever altering my perspectives and reshaping the way I perceive contributions to society. That one dialogue shifted the lens through which I viewed my role as a civil servant, transforming my understanding of how I can make an impact beyond my office work. This conversation rekindled a sense of responsibility and ignited an aspiration to create something that potentially holds meaning--at least from my perspective.

As a civil servant, it's almost natural to limit my perception of contribution to the tasks I perform within the walls of my workplace. However, a conversation with a close friend unveiled a new dimension of it that resonated deeply with me. 

"But rarely did we realize, we are essentially being paid by the citizens, not merely the government," my friend shared. "Hence, our contributions shouldn't be confined to our office tasks alone. If there's more we can do – like creating informative content or sharing our knowledge – those actions too are valuable contributions."

That conversation was a revelation, prompting me to reconsider doing more than I’ve done.

With newfound realization, I embarked on a journey to create a program that would serve as a (hopefully) educational platform focused on internal auditing and IT auditing. Yet, the path was far from straightforward. Doubts loomed over me like dark clouds: Was I skilled enough? Could I consistently present in front of a camera? Did my equipment meet the standards? Would anyone find my content useful, let alone watch it?

Yet, I recognized a pattern. Many of my steps began amidst the shadow of doubts. And I understood that the key was not to eliminate doubt entirely but to persist despite its presence. As long as my actions aligned with a perceived value and usefulness, I was determined to push forward.

So, today, I present #bicaraaudit – the realization of my long-nurtured aspiration. Through this program, I hope to become a companion in your journey of learning about internal auditing and IT auditing. The dream, once limited to thoughts, now breathes life through this initiative.

The first episode kicks off with an exploration of the Certified Internal Auditor (CIA) certification. I delve into its benefits and ponder whether the effort invested in obtaining it truly pays off. But this is only the beginning. Starting this week, please anticipate new episodes every Thursday at 09.00 WIB. Your feedback, thoughts, and inquiries are invaluable to me. I wholeheartedly invite you to engage by sharing your insights in the comments section.

I am looking forward to having more discussions with you all.

 

Love,

iim

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Jakarta, Indonesia

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