Hi, everyone. How have you been? I wish everyone is doing well and enjoying the season whatever it is, wherever you might be. Recently, I got a message slash *cough* reminder saying, “The month has changed and you haven’t posted something new,”. Alright. Here is this lazy blogger's comeback post 😊

Speaking of seasons, the colder-than-average Australian autumn just started in full-blown --no no I didn’t mean his autumn-like eyes' icy stares, just the season, okay? Please refrain from taking this assumption because I am still trying to find someone who will even stare at me *ugly cry. huhu. *my self-deprecating humor needed to make a comeback as well.

I remember last autumn wasn’t this chill but recently I shivered whenever I stepped outside. A recent morning, I saw my screen display a bone-chilling 5°C while I was waiting for the train. The temperature dropped significantly and I recalled a conversation with a close friend from the previous autumn about how colder temperatures affect our food.

“I used to think this Reply 1988 quote is deep but after I knew how frosty a food can be, the words are Mariana Trench. I mean, I don’t mind eating cold rice in Indonesia but here I feel pitiful of myself when I eat it because it is really that cold. Therefore, ‘I want you to have a warm meal.’ is such an underrated love expression,” I uttered.

At first glance, it might seem like a simple statement, but once I've experienced the biting cold of a meal, it takes on a whole new level of meaning. And the words are even deeper in meaning when you know the story. Let me walk you through it. One of the main characters in Reply 1988 is a young baduk (traditional Korean board game) athlete who traveled frequently for matches. As a consequence, he couldn’t accompany his single dad to have his meals from time to time. One day, when the father cautiously asked for the son’s permission to remarry, he answered his father with a tear-jerking statement,

“Dad… I want you to have a warm meal, even when I’m not here with you. It’s your life, Dad. I want you to be happy.”

source: Reply 1988 PH

(He just wanted someone to take care of his dad. These words pierced my soul. Who cuts onion? Where is my tissue?)

I then remembered my father who "liked" to eat cold rice. My family used to have tough times when I was a child so we couldn’t afford a rice cooker. As a result, he would often eat cold rice, saying that he liked it that way (at that time, I didn’t know that there is a great possibility that it was just an act). Those particular vivid scenes taught me to appreciate what I have and not to complain about food or anything else in life. Even now, I never complained about food because my dad gave me an example to be patient and not complain. However, putting the lessons aside, that memory truly broke my heart. Hence, I worked hard so his life could be a bit easier. I don’t have any option but to put in my entire effort. Struggling is hard but watching my family has a difficult life is even harder. That is how I walked this far. 

I grew up with cold rice to be able to deeply appreciate the warmth. I am aware that warm food is not a luxury everyone can have so I am consciously thankful. I also like when people have warm personalities, warm smiles, and warm words. People who radiate gentle acceptance and understanding can easily touch the inner part of my soul. I am just thankful when people resemble warm blankets in the peak winter--comforting and reassuring.

Dear everyone reading this, I sincerely want you to have a warm meal every day. And what I meant is not just warm meals but also emotional warmth that embraces your hearts. And also, if by any chance you have eased my day, know that this “I found it hard to express my feeling except by writing” woman is deeply grateful.

Lastly, dear my dad, I want you to have a warm meal, even when I'm not there with you.

Love,

Iim

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Image by rawpixel.com on Freepik

image source: intellectualpoint.com

So I am a top scorer? Of course not in football or any sports games. Don’t expect me to be that good in sports because I even still need to find the constant motivation to exercise. Maybe I need an attractive athletic man to be my trainer? *kidding *runnnnn 😊

When this “I don’t know about IT but I want to learn” girl first started working in the said field, she put getting some certifications as her dream. Don’t ask her how can she achieve those goals because for sure she had no clue. She who at that time wasn’t even able to perform operating system installation only know that as long as she put in her earnest effort and attitude, she will eventually end up somewhere better. 

Fast forward to a few days ago, that girl received a certificate of appreciation as the top scorer of the CRISC (Certified in Risk and Information Systems Control) Certification period of July-December 2022 by the ISACA Indonesia Chapter. She remembers taking the exam feeling rather nervous, so far from even imagining that she will achieve the highest mark out of all the Indonesian CRISC aspirants that took the exam in the second half of 2022. She is just grateful.

Through this moment, she reminds herself again an advice given by someone when she started her career in IT.

“You know what’s the most important part of a certification? Not the certificate, not the title, but the knowledge we gained along the way.”. That person also reminded her to pursue certification with righteous intention and an earnest attitude. She should take it seriously by proving that she deserves the acknowledgment of competency. She must truly understand the knowledge and perform her job with qualities accordingly. The certification is merely a recognition of the hard work and dedication a candidate put into the learning process. Instead of focusing solely on passing the exam, she began to approach her studies to truly understand the material. Now, she realized that perhaps this mentality helped her accomplish this achievement.

She was lucky to receive such beautiful advice that shaped the way she approached certifications. Since that day, she knew that exam preparation isn’t about trying to conquer the passing threshold but trying to get as much knowledge as she can. Therefore, she spent countless hours poring over textbooks, discussing with people with the relevant expertise, and reflecting on how the knowledge could enhance her performance--even when passing the exam might not need her to go to that extent.

If she can only share one piece of advice with certification aspirants, she would say “I hope you are obsessed more with getting the knowledge, not the certificate”. Your true value is in the competency, not the certificates. The best part of the journey isn’t the certificate itself but the newfound knowledge and understanding you gained. Therefore, she suggests you approach the exams as an opportunity to better yourself instead of to obtain a new title. Seeing yourself grow and improve as a better person and professional is the real prize. The title, my friends, is just a byproduct. 

Love,

iim

 No matter how harsh the world is, there are people who do not allow it to ruin their gentle compassionate hearts. Tonight, I just witnessed one of them.

(Found this diary entry and think that the realization might be useful to someone else too. I decided to post it with minor editing to keep the people in the story unrevealed.)

I just finished one of my classes this evening when a friend asked for my approval to let another classmate be our teammate. That day the lecturer asked us to form a group and we’ve promised each other to be teammates since the beginning of the term. He directly turned to me when the class ended and dropped the name of someone who wanted to be on the same team as us. Among the students we could pick from, he argued that we needed to get this person into the team. I wondered why he decided to take someone who I considered didn't academically perform well in the class to be a groupmate. However, I respect his decision thus I nodded. Of course, I still had the curiosity while saying “bye and I’ll see you next week” to him when we were almost separated. He was supposed to go to the car park while I’d go to the light rail station when he stopped and said:

“Nur, you know he struggled with English and I don't think his individual assignment mark would be good. Therefore, it's an opportunity for us to raise his mark. I hope you don't mind that we help him," as if could read my mind, he explained something I’d already let go unanswered. "I meant, we can do that while teaching him a bit so that he could understand the material better."

There was a brief silence I can even hear the sound of the wind blowing. The realization hit me. While we weren't necessarily excellent students, we could be a small help to him. After hearing the reason, I don't really mind that.

However, I do really mind about something else. It is about me and how I see the world recently. For the longest time I can remember, my approach to life was to never see it as a competition. If there is someone I need to compete with, it is myself in the previous time. Hence, I don't necessarily mind the mark that much. Even so, I wasn't at the level of "intentionally" working with someone that possibly bring my performance down. I am happy to help people but not at that point if something rather important (like my grade because I have a big responsibility as a scholarship student) is at stake. On top of that, recently I feel that the constant run to catch up with the pace of the hectic world unconsciously made me slightly less considerate and thoughtful. Therefore, hearing that explanation felt like being hit in the head with a hammer.

I nodded once again while uttering, “I appreciate your thoughtful act. Let's help him as much as we can.” and then continued my steps. My brain can’t help but reprocess the conversation with this “government buddy” (how we call each other since we both work for the governments of our respective countries) when I arrived at the station. First and foremost, we are humans. As humans, it would be beautiful if we could be generous in doing virtuous actions by offering genuine support and comfort to other people. Rather than other indicators, being kind is the ultimate "performance". It matters more than the high marks on a university transcript.

In the hurried competitive world we live in, it's easy to forget to exercise kindness so this moment is a reminder to put a great amount of thought and effort into performing kind gestures. I am glad in the way of practicing kindness that always becomes my annual goal, along the line, I witnessed this piece of example from a friend that is so willing to do kind actions. I am grateful that I am once again reminded to get out of my own little world and start committing on make kindness a priority over any achievement in the world.

One particular thing I couldn’t fail to notice with the way people in my university communicate is when they explain something, they are likely to conclude it with “Does it make sense to you?” instead of “Do you understand?”. Now imagine a good-looking young lecturer teaching you to do data visualization and he ends the lecture with, “Does it make sense to you?” while smiling. Nah, I don’t find the visuals on the PowerBI more interesting than the visual of the one explaining it. And yes, it does make sense. Oh pardon, what I meant, it doesn’t make sense. Could you please explain it again to me? I am not a diligent student but I don’t mind listening to your explanation for hours.

LoL. I am kidding. That’s just a random imagination of what could've happened if it is in a K-drama setting. Let’s go back to the topic before you start asking me how to join that “My Lecturer is Handsome” class. Certainly, I wouldn’t let you know :p

There were a lot of moments when people asked me this question to confirm whether what they convey is delivered to me. However, what made me have full consciousness about it was that recently I have had a quite technical course and the lecturer seemed to catch the confusion in the students’ faces. We all literally had blank expressions, clearly displaying our unhidden bewilderment. He being a patient lecturer himself smiled while saying, “does it make sense to you? I can repeat if it doesn’t,” with no signs of judgment in his eyes. YES PLEASE! This dumb student right here lost her sense because of your sweet smile the difficult material *I am back with that “my lecturer is handsome” joke *if any production house wants to adapt this story as a movie, please get Nicholas Saputra as the lecturer.

That question, while touching on the same thing, made me feel so different from “do you understand?” which I usually heard. Whilst “do you understand?” puts the emphasis on the ability of the listener to comprehend, “does it make sense to you?” emphasizes the communicator’s effectiveness in delivering the message. I found it as a more respectful approach to verify, which I appreciate highly. This subtle (yes, I told you I love subtlety) shift in wording is beautiful, isn’t it?

The phrase "Do you understand?" can sometimes come across as condescending--putting the explainer in a slightly higher position than the one receiving the explanation. It could also imply that the person speaking tests the interlocutor’s ability to grasp the message. Not that I dislike that phrase but now that I found a better way to express it, I think I will try to adopt the new one. “Does it make sense to you?” shows a desire to take responsibility for the effectiveness of the communication and indicates a willingness to ensure that the message has been received correctly. The small shift from “can you understand my message?” to “Can my message be understood?” has impacted me on how I should be more intentional with my choice of words.

I am (once again) surprised with how small attention to our wording might create a big difference. Choosing the right words can help us convey the message effectively and elicit the desired emotional impact. The choice of words also set the tone of our message which significantly affect how our message is received by others. For instance, those two phrases have similar meanings but evoke divergent emotions. I tend to be more open about my lack of understanding when “Does it make sense to you?” is asked of me. After attending that class, I realized that it is essential to be mindful of my wording because effective communication is not just about what we say, but how we say it. Therefore, I would love to be more intentional with my choice of words from now on so that I can be more effective in communicating. 

Now, the question is, should I be intentional about the gorgeous lecturer too? Okay, just ignore my crazy self. Hihi. I know this random imagination doesn't make sense. Does it make sense to you? :)

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Images credit: manfredsteger at Pixabay

I know some of you might furrow your brows while thinking, “seriously she hasn’t moved on from ‘Flight to You’ yet?”. Hihihi. Please don’t judge me, bear with me, and don’t give up on me yet *I can hear you say: sis, you asked for too much :) *can you hear my dumb giggle? hihi. Recently, I found out the translation of the song I mentioned at the beginning of this post and realized that my heart felt warm when I figured out the track’s last lyrics, which are quoted above. I held my breath when the lyrics said, “I want to ask you whether your dream is within your reach now” but what made me lose it was the subsequent words, “I wish you a flight to the vast and bright sky”. I meant the level of subtlety it has got me thinking that any direct love confession for an aviation person couldn’t top this one.

Let me get you the background story. The “you” in this song is a passionate ‘flying-is-my-life’ female pilot he trained. Therefore, ‘I wish you a flight to the vast and bright sky’, both literally and figuratively, had the depth of the Pacific Ocean. He wished her ease in doing the thing she likes (for a pilot, flying to a bright sky indicates an easy-breezy supposed-to-be-safer trip) and also signified his hope about her sunshiny future (as a bright sky connotates peacefulness and happiness).

That brought me to a revelation: subtle expressions, both in words and acts, hold a dear place in my heart.

I know it sounds unconventional as straightforward expressions are considered more effective in communication. However, for me, finding an expression’s hidden meaning, sometimes wandering around extensive interpretation, is alluring. In several instances, I like when emotions, thoughts, and ideas are conveyed in a nuanced way even when denotative speaking is more understandable. Now when I think about it, my inclination toward subtlety might stem from 2 circumstances: my cultural background and my special liking for literature.

I grew up in a culture where people likely deliver their purpose in a vague way, closely accompanied by a grandfather who was enthusiastic about vague expressions in literature. At an early age, I learned wayang (puppet theatre play) and many classical Javanese dramas. In my teenage days, I meandered classical Indonesian literature pieces and continued with modern ones as I grew older. I was enchanted with the beauty of indirect expressions, both spoken and acted, approved by my cultural upbringing.

On the topic of the influence of culture on someone’s way of communication, I couldn’t help mentioning renowned Natsume Soseki’s poetic phrase “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”. Based on the explanation I found several years ago (read it here), at that time Soseki as an English teacher overheard his student translating “I love you” literally, which he believed rejected Japanese sensibility and was unfit for Japanese cultural context. Therefore, he pointed out that the expression should be translated to a more subtle, nuanced wording,

月が綺麗ですね (“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”).

For years, I couldn’t forget that phrase after uncovering its hidden meaning. Sometimes when I looked above and see the full moon (like tonight when I write this post), I nodded in agreement on why confirming whether the moon is beautiful implies that your heart belongs to someone you share the moon-viewing experience with. Not only that it is a more beautiful lexicon but also it allows deeper, more diverse, and more layered interpretations. Therefore, it offers the readers their own connections to and conclusions about the text. This creates a more immersive emotional experience, as the one hearing the expression more actively engages and participates in the process of understanding it.

The phrase above, for example, could be interpreted as, "actually the moon isn't that beautiful, you are,", “the moon is even prettier because a beautiful soul is by my side looking at the same sky object,”, “What I meant is you’re beautiful”, “What a pleasing night to be in love with someone,”, and so on. The readers can personally interpret it which enriches the meaning. The late Sapardi Djoko Damono, my favorite Indonesian poet, touched on this topic in his ASEAN Literary Festival 2016 interview:

“Poetry is alive because there are various interpretations. If there is only one (interpretation), one-time reading then it's over,” (Sapardi Djoko Damono)

Based on my observation, I agreed with Sapardi’s argument that roundabout expression in poetry makes it more memorable and impactful. The reader needs to pay closer attention to every word and nuance, and is encouraged to have further thoughts and discussions, which lead to a long-lasting impact. After days of understanding the lyrics “I wish you a flight to the vast and bright sky”, the words lingered on my mind and probably will stay there for a long time just like “The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?”. Both made me hold my breath as my heart fluttered. I mean, you can sincerely pray for someone, you can generously praise the moon--but that person needs to figure out that what you mean is “I love you with all my heart”. That kind of expression is beautiful, isn't it?

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*I must applaud the people behind "Flight to You" OSTs as they crafted the lyrics to suit the character's personality. The indirect ways Gu Nanting shows his adoration for Cheng Xiao are even captured in the lyrics. He is definitely the kind of man who stares at you with deep endearment, saying "I wish you a safe flight" and "Your perfect flight is my biggest comfort" while hiding his feelings.

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image source: canva.com

(Alert: contained spoilers of “Flight to You”.)

Heyyy, I am back. You should be glad that this “you’ll hear from me again when I am in the mood of writing” blogger was on fire, coming back only 2 days after posting something. Hihi. I swear, at first I didn’t have any intention to make the sequel to my previous post. I was quite satisfied that it contained my major thoughts about the drama I am currently having withdrawal syndrome over. However, after finishing the last episode, I couldn’t help wanting to write the second part of my thoughts regarding Cheng Xiao of “Flight to You”. No, I wouldn’t talk about the romance side, as the drama itself didn't put the romance in the center, even though I will still mention her love interest, Gu Nanting. Through this post, I would love to give the spotlight on her journey and struggle as a female pilot.

As a woman who is also navigating a male-dominated field, I think the attachment I have for Cheng went stronger as the story progressed. She faced doubt and underestimation from the senior pilots, was persuaded to quit by her instructor (who was Gu Nanting himself -__-), received sexist hatred from an influential pilot, needed to start over, was transferred to the ground handling department, was treated roughly by some passengers, was slandered, even faced a legal issue: she basically was in a hamster wheel of misfortunes. Of course, I didn’t even feel 1% of her struggle intensity however it still resonated well with me.

Contrary to giving up, she bravely faced everything because she believed flying is her life. She fought back the pointing fingers because she knew it is a dream she put her soul into. I found myself admiring her for fighting for the things that matter to her. So, when the last three episodes showed that the table was turned, I can’t help feeling what she felt as if she shared it with me. Unknowingly I smiled proudly at the scene where she pulled her suitcase to the plane with four bars in her suit (four bars epaulet/suit stripes indicate someone is a captain). On top of that, someone who initially she addressed as “the biggest enemy” because he had discouraged her from becoming a passenger pilot became the one who promoted her and called her “Captain Cheng” for the first time. Such a dramatic, well-executed emotional scene that made me once again say, “Cheng Xiao, you’re awesome.”

However, the utmost goosebumps I got from the drama was when the company assigned her as the captain for the maiden flight of the first Chinese-made aircraft--a historical moment in Chinese aviation. Initially, Gu Nanting was prepared to take the driving seat but he suffered a vision problem so he passed it on to Cheng Xiao, his chosen-over-selection co-pilot. Cheng Xiao immediately rejected the idea of taking over his position and instead wanted to accompany him doing the eye operation. However, he convinced her by saying:

“Domestic planes are what generations of Chinese aviation professionals have hoped for. They have devoted their whole lives to this one thing. All their efforts on those 80 tons of metal. At first, I thought I could turn this blueprint into reality as soon as possible. But I don’t have the chance anymore. So, I’m passing it on to you. You are doing this not only for me, for Luzhou Airlines, but also to fulfill the wishes of several generations of Chinese aviation professionals,”

Cheng Xiao was teary hearing such encouragement from Gu Nanting who hoped that she could be strong in shouldering the huge responsibility. Both Tan Songyun and Wang Kai executed that scene greatly as we can see how Cheng Xiao, no matter how tough she looked was still a woman who had doubt and fear while Gu Nanting, no matter how fearful he was of the situation tried to always be her rock. Those words were beautifully said but what made me lost it was when he, a prideful man himself, concluded his heartfelt message by uttering:

“Cheng Xiao, you have always been my pride. Promise me. Fly well tomorrow.”

Guess who was crying? I was not *grabbed my tissue. The reversal from hearing “Don't be proud of yourself” when she showed Gu Nanting her rapid learning progress to “You have always been my pride” when she became the captain of a historical high altitude journey caught me off guard. As if I copied Gu Nanting’s feelings, I can feel how proud I was of her as well. After going through an emotional rollercoaster with her during the show, I can say: Gu Nanting, she is also my pride.

Several hours after I finished the drama, those words still lingered in my mind. You have always been my pride. How beautiful it is to hear someone direct that confession to us. It holds a deeper meaning compared to “I am proud of you”. It is someone acknowledging you as their source of any great feelings. It is someone recognizing you as their hope and wish.

Looking up at the blue sky from my window, I found myself praying that someday I can hear someone says: “iim, you have always been my pride” or something similar to it. Until then, I will work my hardest to be someone who can make myself proud. Until later, I will continuously improve myself to be my better version. I will definitely give my all to be someone who deserves that confession. When the time comes, will you say that I am your pride?

Dear Cheng Xiao, I hope I can be a brave and strong-willed woman like you. On top of that, if Allah permits, I wish that I can hear a similar declaration you heard from Gu Nanting be expressed to me. Even if eventually I couldn’t hear it from someone, I would still wish it as if one day it will come true. I will pray often. I will also work my hardest.

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All photos belong to iQIYI. All right reserved.

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P.S.:

1. A special mention: Ni Zhan's quote cheering up Cheng Xiao who was demoted to the ground handling department: "I used to think that life is unfair. All roads lead to Rome, but some people are born in Rome.". I am glad that this story had such a beautiful soul who was there for Cheng in her ups and downs.

2. Now after finishing the entire episodes and taking time to process the story, I can eventually understand why my heart, just like Cheng Xiao's,  was attached to Gu Nanting. I tried to be rational and said that I would choose Ni Zhan but then I remember my own words to a close friend, "You know, even if I haven't loved someone, probably would accept him if I admire and respect him,". Cheng Xiao's feelings stemmed from the admiration and respect she had for Gu Nanting. I must say that a man we respect and admire is totally in a different league. Also, what a relationship goal it is to be each other's pride.

3. Shout out to Liu Yuning who lent his voice to this drama's soundtrack "Gravity". I knew he is the singer behind many dramas that I like but this time, I fell for his voice even more. (please turn the CC on to see the subtitles.)

(Alert: contained spoilers of “Flight to You”.)

If you’ve read my Certified in Cybersecurity Exam Experience post, you might've noticed that during the study sessions, I watched a Chinese drama in between. So what kind of drama had made me couldn’t wait until I took the exam to watch? *insert dramatic drumroll *hihi. I shall blame iQIYI for dropping an enticing summary of a drama with a poster of Wang Kai in pilot uniforms! (the caption: “Nick Wang (Wang Kai’s international name), please always wear your uniform”. YES please!).

Previously watched a drama where he transformed into a stern team leader of the Violent Crime Unit, I can totally portray him being a strict flight instructor. In my biased opinion (yes, here I am unapologetically biased), I couldn’t imagine any Chinese actor can exceed his performance in portraying a calm and charismatic super-strict-almost-annoying yet soft-hearted man. He is built for this kind of role. Also, his beautiful translation of “how a man’s icy heart gradually melts” was just mesmerizing. In addition, the talented Tan Songyun will showcase how a female pilot navigates the male-dominated profession. Those two actors are synonymous with good dramas so there I was couldn’t put my priority right. Argh, I just studied then watched it then studied for a bit then watched it again as if I was so ready to risk the exam *can you hear my dumb sobs?

I love her character. Cheng Xiao, you are awesome!

Now, I am gonna talk about the drama because so many thoughts flooded me while watching it. “Flight to You”( 向风而行) revolved around the lives of the flight crew of Luzhou Airlines, largely inspired by 12 real-life aviation cases. Cheng Xiao (Tan Songyun), a pilot in the cargo flight department had to move to the passenger flight department due to the company's restructuring. After 8 good years of serving, becoming a captain should be just a matter of time for her until Gu Nanting (Wang Kai), the Deputy Director of the Passenger Flight Department became her direct supervisor and instructor. He mentioned several times that what she lacked as a passenger pilot couldn’t be overcome by hard work and she should just quit (even wrote a resignation letter on behalf of her. LoL). As if her journey as a woman in the piloting field wasn’t nerve-racking enough, she had to go through a hamster wheel of mistreatments from several parties including the devil instructor.

(Before moving forward with the romance side of the drama, I would like to applaud the show for spotlighting the obstacles that women go through in the workplace. For example, there were episodes where she was involved in a rumor and it did bigger damage to her compared to her male counterparts. The fact that a woman can be talented, hardworking, and have credentials yet be easily knocked down by a false accusation while the men involved weren’t affected as much showed the double standard society has against women).

Let's go back to the track of romance. As someone who closely saw her determination and persistence, eventually, Gu Nanting's opinions about her slowly shifted. We can find him in the later part of the drama defending, supporting, and protecting her behind her back. Therefore, it was understandable that Cheng Xiao developed a special feeling for him as he was there assisting her growth. A straightforward and fearless woman she was, she openly admitted her secret to him--in hope that the feeling would reciprocate. She pursued him with the attitude of “even if I have to take 99 steps to close the 100 steps between us, it doesn’t matter as long as he is the one taking the final step”.

The problem is, it became frustrating that she already threw herself at him yet he was battling with his own demons: denials (for 34 episodes like seriously the man being a turtle in front of his feeling), avoidances, trauma, “you’re just a student to me” (a.k.a the C-drama's most heartbreaking statement of early 2023) reason, “not with you, not without you” attitude, and “one hand holding the past, one hand holding her” manner. He did everything but be honest with his feeling. Yet at the same time, he’d drop everything just for her, in rescue mode whenever she was in danger, and was the most panicked one when it comes to her. Imagine the confusion you get from a man whose acts and words were perfect contradictions. Should you give up? What if his actions were truer than his words? Should you stay? But isn’t it disheartening to see him keep pushing you away?

Should be an interesting watch, the drama became draggy and plain infuriating because of several things including his inability to have an honest conversation with himself. I skipped the middle part of it to the part where Gu Nanting started to realize that he was wrong in putting the walls against Cheng Xiao. I'll be honest: I must say Gu Nanting is one gorgeous man I can’t deny. He is ridiculously attractive and his soft calming smile cured the hard days of a stressful job. On top of that, his actions signaled that he saw her as more than just a colleague, so as a woman who has initially developed a special liking toward him, it’s hard for Cheng Xiao to ignore and get past her feeling.

Ni Zhan, a man you are.

Dear iQIYI, shouldn't you also say: "Liu Chang, please always wear your uniform"? :)

I know the writer tried to convince the viewers that Gu Nanting is worth all the pain but still for me, Ni Zhan is the man. I’m sold at how he was selflessly there for Cheng Xiao, helped her, cheered upon her, treasured her, and thoroughly thought about her happiness above anything. Ni Zhan simply won my heart with his firm decision and sure steps toward Cheng Xiao. But then I realized that choice stemmed from my cowardice while in reality, my heart would probably belong to Gu Nanting for all my life. 

So under what circumstance can someone be trapped in the middle of this beautiful friendship? *cough *only Cheng Xiao's circumstance

As I progressed towards the end of the drama, I can sense my heart little by little changed as Gu Nanting became more humane. On top of that, I must admit that Nanting's small detail of softness all over the episode is what makes him worth the long wait. I am also glad that the writer gave him chance to redeem himself which made the decision to choose him well-justified. Then I understood that maybe if I was Cheng Xiao, I wouldn’t be able to turn my head away from him as well. In this world, there is a magical feeling which makes someone’s smile greatly powerful for us. Perhaps if I was Cheng Xiao, I don’t care how long shall I wait or whether I would end up with him or not, but seeing him standing there, all the hardships the world throws at me would be less excruciating. Maybe if someone like Gu Nanting himself appears in my life, I would do exactly the same. I would also work my best to be the woman he’d run to every day.  

Therefore, who I am to give her advice? Because when the heart says seeing someone even from faraway calms the stormy day, then perhaps it's enough. :)

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When Cheng Xiao finally got promoted and Gu Nanting said, “Captain Cheng, please have a safe flight”, I smiled widely. Some people just couldn’t express their thoughts well. For them, “I hope you’re okay” translates as “You mean the world to me”. 

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All photos belong to iQIYI. All right reserved.