Hello my future husband, how do you do?

D-E-A-R-M-Y-H-U-S-B-A-N-D

Hihi, it might sounds too much but I want to write the making of "Dear my husband" since it's sooo special. It's the writing I promised when I posted “Someday I’ll be good enough for you”. I need almost 2 months not to write but to collect the idea. I treat “Dear My Husband” differently. For the first time, I thought of a writing very deeply. For the very first too, I had someone read my writing to make it up. Now I see here and there I have so much space for improvement. Mas Redy said I wrote it well but due to lack of vocabularies, I couldn't deliver it in the most effective way. I sent it to a pre-published reader, Mbak Ki, to know the reader’s reaction. I’m so grateful she sent me a positive reaction. I did my best on this "Dear My Husband".

While Mas Redy  and I were discussing this one, I knew that I need to learn many things so I can deliver the exact right messages. There are a bunch of tasks I have to do to achieve the writing level I’ve dreamt of. One of those is I need to read more. I need to learn English literature better. If I stay the same, how can I will be a good writer?

Back then, I dont even remember how often our choreographer yelled at the dancers. Sering hati saya ciut mendengar komentar pelatih saat saya melakukan salah gerak. Dulu, tak seperti penari lain, saya selalu panik terhadap perkataan pelatih. Sebelum akhirnya saya mendengar Dewi berkata, “Semua penari profesional pernah digebuk pelatihnya. Big Bang nggak akan jadi seperti sekarang tanpa dimarah-marahin YG. Setiap satu kesalahan, kamu jadi belajar lebih keras lagi. You have to thank him actually, dia memperhatikan detail gerakanmu. Lagian, dia memuji powermu pas nari kok.”. 

Maka saya dan Dewi belajar setiap detail gerakan hingga larut malam. Tak peduli betapa pegalnya badan kami, tak peduli betapa capeknya pikiran kami.

Setelah itu Dewi pindah dari Jakarta dan saya masih menari.

Malam ini aku hampir tak percaya pada kabar yang diucapkan seorang sahabat padaku. Jika orang menamai ini kebetulan, aku lebih menganggapnya magnet bernama doa. Seseorang yang sahabatku idam-idamkan sejak lama memulai obrolan serius. Kakiku bergetar mendengarnya. Kisah seperti itu bukanlah semata-mata milik drama dan film. Sungguh Alloh tahu setiap harapan yang tersembunyi. Alloh tahu doamu dan doanya telah saatnya bersautan saling menjawab. Mataku sarat menahan air mata bahagia.

You made a door on my densest wall

Yesterday I was busy knocking

The key on your pocket

I gotta meet you

Exactly you

Locked in the now me

Hate to sneek your very own shadow

Tear up my wall into chips

Kidnap me

I need to see you

Exactly now

After watched last episode of Winner TV, this random mind suddenly popped out. I love bromance/womance: two or more persons supporting each other as their friend’s body is their very own. 
IMZ’s Random Files No: 51342

Saya kembali diingatkan betapa sulitnya 11 trainees YG yang dibagi menjadi 2 tim (team A dan Team B) harus bersaing untuk memperebutkan kesempatan debut lebih dahulu. Yes, they were competing and their hearts ached. Ketimbang memilih untuk menulis lagu tentang cinta, di final battle Tim A (yang kemudian menjadi pemenang dan menyandang nama Winner) menciptakan lagu tentang suatu saat nanti kesebelas dari mereka akan bersama-sama berdiri di depan kamera. Di episode terakhir Winner TV, reality show tentang keseharian Winner, satu persatu member team B mengirimkan dukungan. Member Winner dibuat menangis mengingat persaingan dengan team B yang sudah dianggap keluarga. Mereka berlatih bersama, mengucurkan keringat yang tak terkira jumlahnya demi cita, dan mengetuk pintu mimpi yang sama. They run into the same goal: to be a renowned musician. They’re battling but supporting each other just like a blood brotherhood. Winner and team B bromance gimme goosebumps indeed. Yes, I hope to see all of you share the same stage again.

Aku ingin mengapungkan sajak bermakna

Lamun aku sendiri tak paham apa yang hendak ku larung di laut itu

Hanya tak mampu berdiam pada suara botol terombang-ambing

Teriaknya lebih gaduh ketimbang ombak berdebur

Aku berdenyut lambat bersama gemuruh

“I’m trying to smile brightly but I don’t like it. I think I’m ugly and nobody wants to love me. Just like her, I wanna be pretty. I wanna be pretty. Don't lie to my face cuz I know I'm ugly“-- Ugly, 2NE1

I just love it. The uptempo track said that beauty standard is so annoying. This song contained ”just another girl” emotion. Feeling when people think you’re so-so: not beautiful, smart, talented, and skilled, but you keep struggling on. But hey, we’re not “just another girls” just because we’re not considered as the pretty ones.

Lazily woke up this morning (it's sunday anyway *innocent face mode: on) and started my day with those clothes need to be washed. Hihihi. After took a bath and had a breakfast (I ate martabak, biscuit, and a plate of rice. Bye bye diet), I read Gogirl magazine I just bought last night. I found many good articles. Tadaaaaaa, I got inspired to write about girl’s life. I'm completely agree with this magazine’s opinion: girls have too much deadlines. Of course count the (almost) rigid one such as you have to marry before turned into 25. Not so long ago, for the first time ever my parents asked me about man. They said they never saw me stick to someone. This kind of pressure is ok until it’s spoken by our parents *try to smile. I often heard these intimidating sentences: "At least start a relationship. You need to marry one or couple year from now on" *rolling eyes. Yeah, its fine too until I realized that I remain single all this time *sob sob.

Ku lepas baterai telepon genggamku

Agar tak dapat ku ketik pesan untukmu

Terhadang langkah memanggilmu

Sosok yang ku ingini sepanjang aliran darah

Ku pasrahkan rasa gundah

Tak menatap foto-foto yang dicuri melalui kamera

Menolak mendengar rekaman suaramu

Sesak berjejalan di kartu memoriku

Ketika bersama jarak ku pandang, kau bak mengikat bintang-bintang dalam rasinya. Selain menyusun konstelasi, aku yakin bintang juga menyusun namamu. Di malam syahdu, pikiranku digelantungi bintang-bintang yang menari lambat dalam alunan akustik. Aku tak putus terkesima pada sepotong denting yang menaburkan kedamaian di sekelilingku itu.